Blessing of Generosity

 

The festival of light is just over. We celebrated with much joy and enthusiasm. One of the happiest part of Diwali is to share gifts and sweets with people around us. This tradition stemmed from the very need of spreading positivity among people outside our immediate family. Even we observe the tradition of distributing prasad after temple visit, instead of simply keeping the prasad to oneself. Why are we supposed to prioritize the well-being of outsiders? What is the need of generosity if we keep the religious reason aside? Some people are wired to act in generous way given any situation. This kind of acts don't arise out of any calculation. Some people are not capable of being generous. This is a pure spontaneous choice. Of course, one can practice kindness consciously in everyday action to support people around and inspire us to be better version of ourselves. But generosity is a way of leading life and it can not be forced on anyone.

Human beings are designed to be social animal. People keep connecting to each other to satisfy various needs and feel secure. Upon birth, our parents play crucial role in making us capable of living with full potential on earth. The society and the state provide us the platform to practice our skills to earn our livelihood and lead a harmonious life. We choose our friends and partner who make worth living for. Also we maintain transactional relationship with many individuals to move forward in life everyday. With all these relationships life becomes meaningful. Where is the place of generosity among all these interactions? Some may think that elders of the family protect and nourish the younger ones with sacrifices and hence that is a form of generosity. In some cases it is true. But very often the elders expect the youngers to behave in a certain way while making life choices. So here comes transaction, not generosity.

Generosity includes any form of selfless contribution e.g. being physically present with people in need, donating to important cause, offering moral support to people in distress, solving someone's problem with the contacts we have or even helping a stranger on the road. For the receiver, generosity is a blessing that offers relief in pain. For the giver, generosity is a blessing that offers an unique form of pleasure. 

With the increased options to connect with one another and increased awareness of what is happening in remote corners of the world, spreading generosity is not difficult in current time. But the starting point should be the realization of the abundance we are already blessed with. Unless we feel grateful for what we already have, we will never recognize our capacity of being generous. The next step is to commit ourselves to something outside our immediate interest. Once we identify our power to make impact on others apart from meeting mere material needs, our intrinsic motivation will keep propelling us to act generously.

There are instances where one kind act initiated chain reaction and became infectious to touch many lives in positive way. Amy Wolf, a motivational speaker, felt disturbed by the alarmingly high suicide rates of young people in her town in Oregon, USA after reading a news daily in Spring 2017.  She wanted to do something to improve the situation. Then she came up with an idea. She printed couple of yard signs with the message "Don't Give Up" and drove a few miles on the expressway. She stopped at the first house after crossing every mile and requested the houseowner to stick the sign at the roof or garden. Her friends and family thought she is nothing but crazy. Few months passed. On a fine morning Amy was listening to a talk show in radio. One young man was talking about a new activity he has taken up on his weekend. He was contemplating suicide few months back when he came across the sign "Don't Give Up" on the expressway. He stopped the car, cried for some time and decided to go back and give life a second chance. Today he is looking for the person whose idea rescued him that day. He has undertaken the activity of planting few more motivational yard stick along the expressway!

Now there is a difference between acting kindly and people pleasing. Providing help in need is not the same as keep fulfilling the wants of the abled ones. Taking a sick person to clinic is an act of kindness. Catering to someone's food choices sacrificing own preferences for long time  is people pleasing. Practicing kindness leads to inner peace. Practicing people pleasing leads to exhaustion and resentment in the long run.

The ability to feel happy in other's upliftment is not a common quality. Also not every recipient of benevolent act is capable of feeling gratitude. There was a quote by Rabindra Nath Tagore which says it is basic human nature to cause harm to ones who offers help in need. The very reason may be the feeling of inferiority in the receiver. There is a proverb in Hindi, "Neki kar aur dariya me daal". It means do good karma and forget it. Forgetting is necessary to make one's good deed genuine. The recipient of kindness may not be able to return the favor anytime. Even in face of ungrateful behavior, forgetting will detach the expectation of the giver from the act, thus will reduce pain of the both giver and receiver. Whatever be the outcome, once we are convinced that our reason is greater than our very existence and scope of impact of our act is beyond our imagination, we will not be bogged down by the side effects. 

Once Thomas Jefferson, the famous philosopher and ex US president, said, "He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me". So is the power of generosity. Good intended act creates ripple effect. Lets strive to spread the light of kindness throughout the year, not just during Diwali.